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jrrbolkin

Pilot/Engineer funnies

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Found these funnies whilst reading genuine complaints received by tech support.Thought they were worth a showing on here.

Enjoy.

 

 

 

(P = The problem logged by the pilot.)
(S = The solution and action taken by the engineers.)

 

P: Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tyre.

 

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

 

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

 

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on backorder.

 

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

 

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

 

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

 

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for.

 

P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

 

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

 

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

 

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

 

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

 

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.

 

 

 

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one more
p. aircraft developers: engine is thing what prevents aircraft to fly
s. i sure u'll guess/know, if not -

Spoiler

engine's engineers: nop, it aircraft - stuff, what prevent engine to fly

 

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